I DIDN'T CARE THEN, AND I DON'T CARE NOW, AND THE VAST DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO

From my personal experience, getting to a place of “I don’t care” was the fuel to ending my 11 year marriage back in 2012. In the first half of our marriage I would have never thrown in the towel because of sheer panic of what others would think. My kids, parents, sisters, in-laws, relatives and friends held me back. But, in the second half of our marriage a new and dangerous feeling set in...numbness.  Numbness in the dictionary means; manifesting or resembling numbness, prostrate or numb with grief. Lacking or deficient in emotion or feeling; indifferent.  It was in this state of emotion or really lack there of that "I didn’t care” anymore and called it quits. I would again advise you, from far too many decisions made with numbness leading, that the “I don’t care” will never turn out. God didn’t create you to have no feeling when it comes choices we make. We may not know what to do or where to turn, but we can’t shut off! Ultimately this will shut Him off. I used to think He left me, but I actually turned away from Him. I had the choice, and it says in Revelation 3:20, KJV- Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. He knocks, but we have the choice to answer. He's always there, but we can ignore Him. Just think, you have free will to say NO to the creator. And that’s just what I did. None of my choices prospered. In reality it got worse. I got what I asked for...and that was the opposite of the Lords plans. 

Now, thank goodness we have a merciful God that will accept us with open arms. And thank goodness I had this awakening when I did that resulted in His miracle of us remarrying each other in 2015! In Colossians 3:2,KJV it says-Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

So what do I mean when I say, I don’t care now?

My not caring now isn’t in the form of numbness or what people think of me. Sure, I'm human, it’s not that I can’t be moved or hurt. And I am certainly not reckless in my decision making process. But, my choices in life are based on not caring what others think, but only what the Lord thinks! What is my Heavenly Father telling me to do! Then trusting, in that above all other opinions His matters most! 

We can’t change the past, but we can rest in that the Lord has our future! In John 10:27–28,KJV Jesus states that: "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand."

He’s got this! All of eternity! Why are we sweating the big and small stuff? What others say or think. Or even what the worlds standards are. The God above everything calls each one of us His...and that’s where it stops. Literally stops! If you’re doing what He’s asking you to do..then let go and I urge you don’t care! Rest only in what our Father God says! It’s the enemy that wants to trap you and have you think it’s over. Or even concern your heart and mind with others thoughts. Stop, check yourself, and give yourself the same mercy and love that God sees us with.

Repeat after me and add you name..._________________I don’t care what you’ve done or what others think of you. YOU are mine and I call YOU blessed, righteous and YOU are seated at my right hand! All of it, forgiveness, new starts, everyday & endless love! 

So be blessed, walk with your head held high and truly DON’T CARE!!!

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Written by: Jennifer Steinhorst